Feeding the Family and Fueling the Flame

Cunningham Date Night 2003 - Steppers Ball
Cunningham Date Night 2003 – Steppers Ball

As a mom, it is so easy to get stuck in the monotony of helping with homework, bathing babies, cooking dinner, fixing toys, finding lost socks, cleaning house, sorting laundry and reading to toddlers… whew!  The work is the same whether you have 1 child or 10.  I have 6 children and though some are a little older, they are just as time consuming.  It is hard enough to find time for yourself and keep the family fed– let alone romance!

As difficult as carving quality time for your husband may be, it is an absolute MUST!  Proverbs 31:18 says that the virtuous woman’s lamp does not go out at night.  That means when the children are asleep, she still doesn’t rest.  Rather, she makes time for her most important loved one– her better half.  I’d imagine she has to take this time for him as earlier in the chapter it reads, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value” (Prov. 31:11).  WOW!!  This is one Wonder Woman!

So how do you do it?  For me, the answer is simple.  As human beings, we always make time for the things we want to do.  When I want to rest, I rest.  When I want to see the latest movie out, I make time to go see it.  When I want to try a new restaurant, I make a reservation.  So the key is wanting  to make time for romance.  That really is the first and the last step!

Once your desire is there, your actions will align with your desire.  And, for me, each time my husband and I make time for each other, I have the desire for more.  My hubby and I first started off making a once a month date night commitment.  Very soon, we couldn’t keep count of date nights!!

Cunningham Date Night 2012 - Steve Harvey Show Taping and C-House Restaurant
Cunningham Date Night 2012 – Steve Harvey Show Taping and C-House Restaurant

Date night has become such second nature to us, now we simply make the time whenever we feel like it!  If there’s a play in town we want to see, we go.  If there’s a new action flick that he’s been waiting to view, we go!  If there’s a special recipe I want to make for him, I make it!

I realize it may not always be that easy.  We have a very active household: basketball practice and games, drama team rehearsals, swim lessons, gymnastics, tutoring, etc.   If you don’t take the time to fuel the flame with your mate, however, those household managing activities will carry more weight than they are supposed to.  And when the scale is unbalanced, it tips.  A tipped scale means content kids, but an unhappy marriage which does not make a happy home.  We have taught our kids that mommy and daddy need time away together to stay happy so they can stay happy.  With that idea in mind, they have often encouraged us to go out or kept very, very quiet in their rooms upstairs so my husband and I can have an in-home date night. 🙂

What is easy is finding ideas for date night.  If you focus on yourself and your spouse, you can never go wrong!  What are the things you like to do?  What does your spouse like to do?  Do you have hobbies you can enjoy together?  Is there anything you or your spouse always wanted to do but haven’t had the opportunity yet?  What things did you do together when you dated?

I challenge you to make February your “Feed the Family and Fuel the Flame” month.  Don’t just settle for Valentine’s Day; find a way to manage the household needs and appreciate your love every day.  Watch a movie together.  Spend time cooking your or his favorite meal together.  Go see a local production.  Go grocery shopping– just the two of you.  Go for a drive in your dream neighborhood and pick a new home.  Shop together.  Try a cooking class.  Go to a basketball game.  Try a new restaurant.

Cunningham Date Night 2010 - Chicago Bears Game
Cunningham Date Night 2010 – Chicago Bears Game


Whatever you do, make it enjoyable for both of you and don’t forget to take the time to talk to each other, hold hands, lock eyes and lips too. 😉

8 Responses to Feeding the Family and Fueling the Flame

  1. TiffanyFocused AndDetermined Jones, I know how it is. It's easy to get stuck in the monotony. That's awesome that you're going to read this together and make that effort to spice it up. Let me know if you want to double date. 😉

  2. I am literally teary eyed. My honey and I don't make that kind of time for one another, we had, but we are right back into the monotony of doing what has to be done for the babies, school and work, and that's it. I'll share this one with hubby and maybe both of us having read this will prompt us to do better and get it together…. Thanks sis!

  3. Hi Joyce! I really enjoyed reading this article. My husband and I used to drive around in our dream neighborhoods often picking & visiting houses. It was fun.

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